LONG JOHN SILVER'S - ANYWHERE IN THE U.S.

i keep wanting to duplicate the fish and shrimp atmosphere and quality of food at Skipper's. But this franchise does not exist in Tucson. in spite of this fact and my experience with the food at Long John Silver's in many different states i periodically go back to see if by some deep sea miracle they have improved.

AND THEY HAVE NOT.

The service is always good and the people behind the counter are always friendly and the counter where you get tartar sauce, cocktail sauce and malt vinegar is always a sticky disaster and their bathrooms are always dirty and old. And the shrimp remains a mystery crustacean, in spite of my hopes.

Underneath the layers of breading there appears to be the shape of a shrimp and it certainly has a shrimp tail (wonder if Costco sells just shrimp tail's that LJS's adheres) but it doesn't taste like shrimp. It is always mushy and soft and comes away in pieces when I'm trying to remove an inch of the breading.

So once again, i have vowed to never go back to Long John Silver's. Being held captive in the hold of a submarine would be a more pleasing experience.

POUNDING THE PAVEMENT WITH PAULA POUNDSTONE

Bill and I went to the Paula Poundstone comedy concert at Centennial Hall in the University area. She was absolutely eccentric and witty and humorous and interesting throughout the entire 2 hour show. Her interactions with audience members were bright and teasing but never personal or mean.

So afterwards I told Bill I had to pee (i hadn't gone for the entire performance). He said it would take too much time because the lines would be extraordinarily long. i said that isn't necessarily true since we were no where close to the lobby and it would have taken us about 10 minutes minimum just to get where there MIGHT be a bathroom line. Besides when i went to the bathroom prior to the show, there was a bathroom stall monitor (i've never seen one before) who guided the ladies to the open toilets by yelling out numbers, as in "ok, #3 is clear"; "get ready for #7". and this bizarre support really speeded up the process.

But even after i told Bill this, he insisted with a firm grip on my elbow that he was going to get me to a bathroom faster and i could trust him (famous last words). So we left the hall and immediately started walking the wrong way only neither one of us knew that until we had walked about 15 minutes. By this time I am at a Pee 12 (on our spousal scale, this means radioactive leakage danger time.) and bitching at him.

finally he stops and says he has no idea where we are (highly unusual for Bill who has excellent spatial sense). So we head to the only lights around; a small market which was really a drug house and gathering place for the dispossessed and mentally ill. The proprietor said we could use the bathroom but it was occupied. and yes it was, for the NEXT 13 MINUTES. I am having chills and bladder spasms at this time. Finally, the door opens and a newly heroin injected Walmart-body-shape-fat lady trundles out in a venomous cloud of the stinkiest shit i've ever smelled.

After this experience, we spent another 15 minutes hitting all quadrangles of the campus before something looked familiar to Bill and we headed to the correct parking garage.

so our post analysis of the concert accompanied by a special coffee drink and a shared whip creamdessert was cast aside as it would have been difficult to engage in this activity when i wasn't talking to Bill and instead enjoying the cloak of righteous contemptuous annoyance.

and because of my large container of emotional negativity and pissed-offness, i had a nightmare, woke up with a stye on my eyelid and had a headache. It took me till 9am before i could see the absolute hilarious funnyness of the situation. Maybe i can tell Paula about this and she can use it during her next concert.

THE MECHANIC

We both really enjoyed this movie. Lots of action, humor, just enough sex to break up the solid male-ness of the movie and great chemistry between the 2 main actors.

Jason Statham (oh, his smile is so wonderful; in part because it comes so seldom) is Arthur, a contract hit man. Arthur takes on Steve (played menacingly and yet puppy dog-ish but always on the edge of loss of control by Ben Foster) as a protege. Arthur feels sort of obligated since he killed Steve's dad.

There are double crosses and some twists and great killings and also almost bungled killings. Steve's first job was very suspenseful and scary to watch; Arthur gave him an injectable medicine to permanently knock out another mechanic from a rival group. This brute was like 6 feet 7 inches tall and weighed close to 300 lbs.; he was huge AND homosexual. But Steve wanted to show his contract killer oats and show Arthur that he could do it HIS way. wow- that pre-protracted murder scene was pretty tense.

I also liked the murder of the cult preacher who was a ketamine addict.

Eventually Steve discovers that Arthur killed his dad and plots a revenge. I was kept guessing at the end because i didn't see the original Charles Bronson movie and just in case you didn't either, I won't divulge anymore.

For the type of movie it was, i give it 10 stars.

I LUV PHO - TUCSON, AZ

This Vietnamese restaurant has now gladly and joyfully replaced Pho 88 on my foodie list. Pho 88 was just a poor and bipolar substitute for Miss Saigon anyway when it was so busy we could hardly get in the door.

I luv Pho, which is a Vietnamese soup, has moved into the place once occupied by Phil's Cafe, a breakfast and lunch spot on Campbell. They have opened up the space and it looks much brighter with spare decorations and lots of tables and only a small counter in the back.

Phil's let me walk through their kitchen and storage area to use the bathroom but this time i had to walk around the block (they are only 3 or 4 stores from the corner) and then in the back to get into the bathroom.

The egg rolls were the best I've eaten since leaving Portland. Bill even ate a whole one and he's usually not that wild about them. Very crispy exteriors and loads of vegetables inside and the fish sauce had a nice spice to it and we got a decent sized bowl of the sauce too.

we also shared a Ban mi cha which is a Vietnamese sandwich. We have been searching for a restaurant that serves this since moving out of Portland (there's that word again!). It is served on a baguette; the freshest and most crunchy and interiorly soft roll you will ever eat. (this sandwich became part of their cuisine due to the French influence). and inside we had the pork and pickled vegetables filling. All the pork was thinly sliced with absolutely no gristle or 'unmentionables'.

The last dish we shared was a Bun which is a vermicelli dish with meat or fish or shrimp which is what we got and lots of lettuce, cilantro, bean sprouts, carrots, cucumber and grilled onions (most of the time there are peanuts too) and then a sauce which is served separately. The shrimp were delicious.

I was in 7th heaven over this meal. My search is over. I am content. I feel happy, joyous and free.

Oh and the prices were ridiculously low. Only $3.25 for the sandwich, $4 for the 4 egg rolls and $7.50 for the bun.

VITO'S PIZZA KITCHEN - TUCSON, AZ

Great find! The color theme is black and white checked and diamonds and other geometric shapes. Lots of tables (most pretty close together) in the front and then the ordering counter towards the back. They also have a few of those high tables with stools that are really uncomfortable and are quite a ways off the ground so you have to ferret around for a comfy place for your feet and legs and the truth is that no position feels natural and pleasant for me. I end up twisting my legs and cutting off the blood supply plus i always feel like i'll take a nosedive off the Charles Dickensian stool as i reach for my food.

In addition to pizza (which is what Jean and Tim had and it looked really good - crust-wise though the toppings didn't seem like they were put on with a generous hand), they have sandwiches, salads and 3 pasta dishes.

Bill and I shared an antipasto salad with Italian dressing. Loads of romaine lettuce (i could smell the faint whiff of packaged lettuce) with olives, salami, pepperoni, green pepper and mozzarella cheese. It was very fresh and good tasting. Then we also shared shells stuffed with their meatballs and thickly covered in meat sauce. I have some left for lunch. The sauce was slightly sweet (i like the sauce at Tony's New
York deli better) but tasty and lots of meat.

They had 3 big screen tv's on the wall and were advertising a super bowl special. But i didn't think the restaurant was set up to make that event enjoyable, especially not for the length of the game. The eating area is too small so its not possible to see the tv screen (any of them) without cranking your neck.

We would come back to try their pizza.

BUCK AND LIL'S - TUCSON, AZ

We ate here again. This is a good barbeque place and close to our house and the prices are reasonable. Its not an outstanding restaurant but good enough when we want pulled pork or my favorite, pulled chicken breast.

They have 4 different sauces; original, smoky sweet, hot and carolina tart. Ordering is done at the counter. There's a bunch of tables; fairly close together; no booths. This is never a problem as usually we are the only ones in there. I always get worried that on the next trip we will be presented with a locked door and a sign that says "closed for business". They are right next to an IHOP and several motels and a medical center so i'm not sure why they don't generate more evening business.

Last night I had the shrimp po'-boy. lots of lightly breaded shrimp on a roll with spicy cajun sauce and lettuce and tomato. Really good. Bill had his usual pulled pork sandwich with original sauce and we shared the coleslaw and fries. They also offer a complimentary vanilla soft serve in a cone. The waitress told us about a couple that come in about twice a week and between them drink about a pot of coffee and take 11 vanilla cones. They must be seniors!!!!!!

THE KING'S SPEECH

both Bill and I rated this movie an 8. the acting was superb. Colin Firth (he will take the trifecta for best actor on Oscar night, i predict) plays Albert, the stuttering son of King George V. and Geoffrey Rush is Lionel Logue, an unconventional un-academically lettered speech therapist who is hired to help Bertie.

The story is wonderful and the interactions between Bertie and Lionel are warm and believable and witty. I liked both characters.

However, the entire British royalty background interfered with my complete immersion into this film. Poor Poor English kings and pompous lords and ladies; what a hard life they lead!!!!! Ah, to suffer the dysfunctional emotional constipation consequences of being brought up by nannies and ignored and made fun of and not related to with love and encouragement just breaks my heart. and what is even worse, is they have to endure all that discord while traveling between 6 mansions and wearing ponderously heavy jewelry and medals and eating gourmet food and having everyone bow and grovel towards them.

I don't know how the 'commoners' who live in England put up with the whole king and queen bit; the mandated worship and bowing to better human beings????? than they??????

of course, i live in a country that re-elected george bush for a second term. go figure.