RANDOM MUSINGS FROM ON THE ROAD

I went through a real emotional time during the last several weeks. I felt "homeless" and adrift; like i really didn't belong anyplace; i had nowhere to return to; unconnectedness. Cried more than i have in the previous 15 years. That seems to have left now.

I am slowly getting used to checking into new motel rooms and homes (whether its airbnb or a one night stop on the way to a longer stay destination). I'm certainly getting faster putting all my stuff away (books, writing tools, "beauty" and health aids, clothes, coffee fixin's, etc.) though the amount of stuff hasn't decreased yet.

When we were in Big Bend National Park, there was a lady at least my age who was eating an ice cream cone and i was telling her how delicious it looked and how i was waiting for after our first hike before i was going to get one because then i would "deserve" a cone. She said "at my age, i don't need an excuse". and that statement really hit home.

So now that is our mantra: I don't need an excuse!

I even wore white socks with sandals out in public. now alicia wouldn't be seen with me in that garb but we're not in Charlotte yet.

OH and the other thing that i'm becoming aware of is that i get nervous without some plans. during all our discussions about this trip, we wanted to make sure we left spans of time without reservations and without a destination; wandering times. To do or go somewhere that struck our fancy at the moment.

Weeeeeeellllllllll, that ain't workin'. We are not museum people or historical places or zoo folk or organized bus tour go-er's. so both of us like to be in big towns for libraries and book stores and lots of restaurant choices and movie theaters OR a place with lots of hiking opportunities.

So letting our journey be spontaneous and waking up in the morning and saying "where will we go today? where do you want to explore?" (in fact, just typing that is making me anxious) is not for us.